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The Flow: "Endings are really the open door to new beginnings…We simply must have the courage t

As I sit at my desk I am looking at the pictures of my three children smiling back at me in their caps and gowns. My daughter Chloe just graduated from medical school, Robbie in Boston doing a surgical residency and Jared moving toward getting his law career in place. Yea!! They have worked so hard remaining diligent in the face of discouragements rising above major odds and have emerged victorious! One day I hope to share their stories which I believe will lift up and lend hope to anyone facing seemingly insurmountable obstacles. While they are not where they want to be in life, they are moving forward in wonderful ways.

I have had several revelations as I reflect back over those long years of lending support as they pushed through school. I thought I would feel zealous and free after Chloe graduated. I am thankful and proud of all three as it has been a scenic route filled with unexpected twists and turns yet I am so proud of them for pushing through and finishing. While I thought Bob and I would feel like “It is finished!” I am realizing it is never finished, nor do we want it to be. Yet I am realizing they are at a point where they are ready to live their own lives which is as it should be and time for us to forge forward. Time to let go of worry about outcomes, they we will figure it out, just as we each have. The best news is God is in control, time to surrender them completely to Him.

As I sit at my desk and look through all these files of notes and “tidbits” I have gathered, I realize I have the same list of goals I want to accomplish that have not changed over the years. Weight loss goals, that same 25 lbs are sticking to my thighs and rear end. Files of notes for my book “The Miracle List” that I have not yet completed fill my home office. The book that I have been writing notes for over 10 years. Plans to travel and share words of hope with people which I love to do remain on my wish and prayer list. I recognize the importance of taking time for my dear husband who is so patient while we both have the gift of a measure of health and each other.

Despite my wonderful intentions: Here are my pitfalls: consistency, avoidance, and procrastination! My my.. my…how is that for a true confession! Personal best that is what we strive for! Now that my three are on their way, I realize that unconsciously I was placing so much energy into how to help them move forward it became an excuse, an avoidant detour I chose to take to avoid putting consistent time into realizing my own goals. It is not that I have not been busy, I love my work and have strived to keep a balance over the years. My road block has been I would put energy in spurts, and then start and stop.

Here is my other realization: The clock is on and time is passing…quickly! On one of my lists was a goal to meet up with 7 of my friends from high school and college for a girls weekend. 4 have died…this precious gift of life and time. We most celebrate it and share it before we miss it. What I don’t what to do is come to the end of my life and have regret.

So here it is! A major realization after over 32 years of practicing medicine…we are all more alike than we are different. I want to invite you to join me on the journey of moving toward personal best. I want to explore with you how we can together realize and manifest personal best. We are going to together explore the literature, experiment with different theories and have our own clinical trials to see what we can achieve and experiencing the peace that comes knowing you have done your best and truly leaving the outcomes to God. Our ultimate goal: For each of us to emerge with our own personalized tool kit equipped with tried and true strategies we can reach out to when our flow is backwards or stagnant. Our secret tool kit to living an empowered life, not perfect but well lived each and every day.

A major motivator for me in life has always been the willingness to do whatever I could to help my children move forward. As parents we will do for our children what we will not do for ourselves. As a mother our teeth comes out when we are trying to protect and guide. What if we put some of that energy now that we put into them into ourselves. We internalize and live the advice that we believe is true for everyone else but ourselves. If that thought doesn’t propel you forward, here is one that pushes me forward each and every day. Our ultimate goal in life is to get our children ready for life when we are no longer here. I equate it to running a relay race. Our grandparents and parents have placed the baton in our hands. I want to run my race so well that I leave them with a wide margin so that they will have a major head start when the baton is placed in their hands. Here is the mandate: Lead by example, it is not what we say but how we live that speaks the loudest. Time to Live It!!

I am excited! Join me as we find our FLOW . A question I ask my patients as they walk down the hallway to my office is: How is your flow? I get all kinds of looks, stares, uhs, grunts and laughter in response to that question. If you are like me, sometimes you are charging forward, other days flowing backwards, and other days just plain stuck.

Yes, endings are really the open door to new beginnings…we simply most have the courage to walk through them”. Today let us begin the journey together of “flowing forward”. Honest feedback is welcome. Remember “FOMO”: “Feeling Of Missing Out”. A term coined to the anxiety that we feel comparing ourselves to what we see on social media, feelings of inadequacy that we are missing out on the excitement in others life. Let me dispel the internet illusion/delusion. Here is the reality: it is human to feel that way that we are behind, that we are missing out, that everyone else has it all together. Truth: NO ONE has it all together everyday. Trust me, I have been a psychiatrist for over 32 years and I know. The gift we give ourselves is to be thankful for the gift of breath for this moment, gratitude for what is around us and having gratitude for the gift of beginning again each moment of each day. A goal each day that I ponder in my actions and thoughts: Moving toward being the “highest version of ourselves” ….makes each day an exciting quest!

Wishing you peace and joy today my friends as we find our flow together each day…through transitions and change, through the good times and the bad….holding hands together with our hands in God’s.

As seasons and doors close, new doors are opening. We are going to find the courage to take risks, to break through dry wall ceilings in our lives.. together we are going to have the courage one step at a time, to walk through.

Here's to new beginnings! Cheers my friends! Today be encouraged! With God ALL things are possible… if we only believe…. Today we flow forward…together believing! Hugs and blessings!

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